Nuts in Nederland

For so long I wanted that "simple boring life" after moving here. I went through so many changes within one year and just wanted to have that everyday-routine-kind-of-ordinary life. Well....here I am. And sometimes it feels so boring. But, it's definitely NOT full of anxiety or stress. And that's something I do love.

My mother-in-law continues to get on my nerves, but I do not obsess about it at all nor do I care what she thinks or does. Hurray for Zoloft! I guess I needed this drug to deal with her, because prior to being medicated I just lost my shit every time she sent me a vicious e-mail or criticized me unjustly. Now....I know who I am and don't let other people's problems become mine.

Same goes for my husband. If he comes home in a bad mood from work, I don't take it personally. I don't think I'm a bad person and that he's acting that way because I did something wrong. I don't internalize a lot of other people's negativity and that's a freeing feeling.

One noticeable change in myself of late is that I am getting more firm with my kids. I've been too soft for too long and way too nice. I always knew, even when I was 12-years-old, that if I ever had kids they would walk all over me. I was just that kind of person and knew myself well. That trait, however, has changed. I've learned to set my limits with people.

The only negative side effects that I have been experiencing from being on Zoloft is a noticeable gain in weight and the desire to sleep as much as possible. It's going to take a lot of self-discipline to make the commitment to exercise and to not give in to going to bed at 9 pm.

My house is not the spic-and-span state that it once was. I don't even like housework anymore. And that is NOT characteristic of me. I used to say that if I had four more extra hours in the day that I would use those cleaning. Cleaning. I should have known then I was nuts. Now if you gave me four extra hours in the day, I'd probably use those to sleep.

I'm just going through the everyday normalness of life, without stress or any major drama. Holy cow, I am normal! Who knew that a little pill could do so much to make me so ordinary and normal. I sure beats being crazy.