Nuts in Nederland

I like to live in the past. I like to remember fun times, good memories, and special people. I hold on to friends for a long time, even old boyfriends. My motto: Once a friend, always a friend.

I hang out on Facebook quite regularly and enjoy the exchange of thoughts with friends far and near. I enjoy traveling back to my college days remembering the old me. There are moments that I miss that girl. The girl who used to go to open mic night and read poetry, the girl who used to go to art gallery openings, the girl who used to go to the ballet, the theatre and the symphony, the girl who used to drive a convertible in the winter time with the heater on, the girl who used to be a radio DJ, the girl who used to sit on top of her roof and drink margaritas, the girl I once used to be.

Marriage and motherhood has seized that girl and taken her hostage. From time to time she comes out and dances in the living room with the children, shows the kids how to make donuts with the car in the snow, and sings silly songs about crocodiles that go poop.

I still enjoy to laugh, to dance, to LIVE OUT LOUD. But there are times as a "responsible parent" you have to play it safe. You have to be on time. You have to schedule the appointments. And you have to make wise decisions.

I miss my monthly clothing allowance. Gone! Kids need new shoes every season? More important.

I miss my soft top convertible. Gone! Bulky car seats and strollers do not fit into little Geo Trackers.

These are just some of the sacrifices to parenthood. Your needs come second. But it doesn't mean you have to stop being who you are.

It's so easy to loose yourself within a marriage and being a parent. You spend so much of your energy giving to other people that its easy to neglect yourself. Your "social" time becomes spending every spare moment with your spouse and children. Yet, that cannot be all together healthy either.

I know I always feel more alive and re-charged when I have spent time with other adults, doing adult things (that involve drinking adult beverages!) and having adult conversations. This is why I am a member of the group called Women With Dutch Partners.

We get together once a month and socialize. We sit around and talk about anything and everything. And we all are bonded together in that we all made the move from our own countries to be with our Dutch partners. Add a few glasses of wine to the mix...and it's the most refreshing moment of the entire month. And free therapy!

I like who I am when I am with these women. I am funny, I am open and I am confident. I like seeing that side of myself come alive again.

I don't always have to live in the past to remember how much fun I am. I just have to create moments where I get out of my "mama zone" and hang out with the big girls now and then.