Nuts in Nederland

God may say WAIT, but he never says WORRY.

"Don't worry about anything. Instead pray about everything. Tell what God what you need and thank him for all He has done. If you will do this, you will experience God's peace." Phil. 4:6-7

I have this little card stuck to my computer monitor. My friend, Ana, gave me this years ago and I remind myself of this thought every time I sit behind my computer.

I have been in the luxury position to have had a year to find a new job. Starting April 2009, I was told my project at work would not continue to receive funding (and this was AFTER they renewed by contract until May 2010). Luckily, it was NOT the other way around.

Since April, I have applied for 11 jobs and been rejected 11 times. It has been a roller coaster ride for me as I have experienced so many emotions. Each time I am rejected, I tell myself that when I finally do have a job all of this will make sense.

While waiting on the birth of my son, Max, who was 13 days late, I wrote this on 30 December 2005:

I told Sabine what I've been going through while waiting on this baby, and she understood. Her and her family have been trying for years to immigrate to the USA and they've tried everything. She's been faithful in her prayers, yet frustrated that the answer is still "no." She explained to me that when she finally surrendered to God and His will, she found peace. She said that she realized she shouldn't be so selfish to use God to do her will, but rather accept God's will in her life. And then it all made sense.

I felt as if God was trying to tell me something, using my conversation with Sabine as the message. So often in my life I have wanted changes in my life. I've prayed for them, waited for them, cried out wondering why it was taking so long, and then realized later those changes came at the right time.

Examples of this are waiting to find the right husband, waiting on Ana's birth (she was 8 days late), waiting to find the right house, and now waiting on this baby's arrival. I remember praying when I was 19-years-old for a husband, yet never being in any hurry to marry. And when I married J in 2000, I knew God had answered my prayer. When I found out I was pregnant with Ana I had been praying for months for God to do something radical in my life, because I was feeling stagnate. And with looking for a house, I grudgingly came to look at our current house thinking it would be another disappointment and was surprised to discover it had EVERYTHING we wanted.

God has surprised me throughout my life by answering my prayers beyond my dreams. And I have been grateful for that. For it has been through my faith in Him that all good things have happened to me. And I know by being faithful and patient, God does answer prayers. Sometimes it just takes longer than we are willing to wait.

And using prayer to make things happen in our life the way we want, isn't the way to enter prayer with God. And I see that clearly now. I understand what Sabine means by surrendering.

So I've taken the approach now that this baby will come when God thinks it's right. The timing will be perfect. Just as Ana was born exactly three years after J moved to the USA, February 8, his "immigration anniversary." I know that the birth date of this baby will be a significant day. And I have all the faith in the world that if I am diligent to listen to God, He will give me the birth experience that I desire. I hold fast to my faith, because I know and believe in it.

Two days later Max was born on 1 January 2006. A beautiful birth experience, one that I will never forget! He has the BEST birth date to be born. On the first day of the year. What a way to start a new year.

Now Max is turning four at the end of this week and I am waiting on another life changing event. I am reminded of his birth story and the importance of patience.

God may say wait, but he never says worry.

I hold fast to my faith, because I know and believe in it.

God has the right job out there for me, it just hasn't surfaced yet. I continue to wait. And I continue to hope.