Nuts in Nederland

As a child, I went to church regularly. Although I was raised and baptized in the Baptist faith, around the time I was 16, my mother and I started attending a Nazarene church. I was in the high school youth group and went to church camp every summer. My mother got interested in the Mormon faith when I was in my late teens and we went to a few Mormon services and I went to a few youth events. When I got to college, I joined the Baptist Student Union. I went on mission trips and participated in campus activities with the BSU.

When I moved out on my own at age 19, I became an infrequent church-goer. This was generally a reflection of who I was dating at the time. If my boyfriend was a Christian, then we went together. If not, then I wrestled with this dilemma and often neglected to go.

Towards the end of graduate school I was attracted to the Catholic faith and went on a few retreats with the campus Catholic group. I eventually, decided I didn't need all the labels, and chose for an interdenominational church. In the end, it was all about believing in God, knowing that He sent His son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins so that we could have eternal life. Baptist, Nazarene, Mormon, Catholic....the label didn't matter. The belief did.

As I approached marriage, I felt it important to return to church with my then fiance and attend pre-marital couples courses. Although my fiance was Dutch and raised Catholic, he agreed to go to church with me at a Protestant church.

It wasn't until we were planning our wedding that I realized how very different we were. He didn't feel the need to have a religious ceremony, and I couldn't imagine getting married without God being present. In the end, we married in the Netherlands and had a civil wedding in a church (and a close friend of mine said a blessing during the ceremony). We found a way to blend our cultural and religious differences and had a very unique wedding.

After we married, J continued to go to church with me. Each time we went, he felt more and more homesick. This was not the church he was used to (charismatic, a live band, no hymnals and everything projected on a screen). And this was not the way he felt a pastor should preach (using excerpts from the bible to make a point).

Eventually, he told me he didn't want to go anymore. I returned to church without him and felt uneasy going alone and just simply told the truth when people asked me where he was. As I struggled with going alone, it just seemed easier not to go anymore. And that became my way of life for some time. I continued to believe and pray, but I missed the contact with other Christians.

When we moved to the Netherlands, I was invited to attend church with one of my classmates from language school. It was a lively church, but it seemed a bit radical for me (no one owned a TV and people spoke in tongues). J went once with me and left with the impression that "those people are wierd". As I knew this was NOT going to be the place where we could go to church together, I eventually stopped going.

I visited an international Baptist church in Eindhoven a few times, but the commute was a killer (especially in the summer in a car with no A/C). And I felt it was important to find a church in the city where I lived.

One day I met an American woman who invited me to her church in Breda. She explained to me that it was a Four Square Church, but encouraged me to explore what it was about.

I did some research into the Four Square Church and after careful thinking, went to the Jefta church in Breda with the children. J stayed at home, but eventually he started to miss time with the kids and I ended up going alone. As difficult as it was to go alone, I forced myself to make that commitment. Each time I went, I felt God's hand leading me to the right people and receiving the encouragement I longed for from other Christians. I became active in a women's bible study, went on a women's weekend retreat and made great friendships.

I felt welcomed and the service reminded me of an American church