Nuts in Nederland

This question gets asked of little children. I have even asked my kids, just to see what they'll say.

When I was kid, I wanted to be a ballerina. And then I stopped taking ballet lessons when I got to 9th grade, because my school work needed more attention. Then I wanted to become a psychologist and that idea stayed until I took my first psychology course in college. Way too much work to really do something with a psychology degree, I learned. And the thought of getting a PhD when you've 18 just doesn't sound appealing. Who wants to go to school even longer?

When I finally knew what I wanted to do, that major wasn't offered at my school. I wanted to study French. I settled for English, and eventually decided I would like to teach high school. I would teach English/Language Arts/French. And then I saw how the youth of today are. Totally disrespectful. Scratch that.

Then I opened up the course catalog and looked to see what major I could study that didn't make me loose to many credits. Speech communications! I had already started taking speech courses as part of my English Composite degree. Gee, and what's not to love about getting a degree in talking! Yes, that was it.

I was a great speech communication student. I loved the performance part of it all. Getting up to give speeches was my drug. For me it was SHOWTIME.

I went on to pursue a Master's at the same university simply because I wanted to be a Graduate Teaching Assistant and I thought I would get to give more speeches. Wrong. Graduate school was NOT what I expected. Graduate school is all about research. Do a lot of research, which leads to a 15 page paper, and then at the end of the semester give a presentation about it.

When I finally finished grad school, which was one of the most challenging times of my life, I landed my dream job. I went on to be an Adjunct Professor in communication courses at George Mason University. Although it was part-time and I had to keep a full-time job for the benefits, I loved every minute of it.

When I started working here in the Netherlands after a five-year-hiatus of being a stay-at-home-mother, I thought I would start small. It seemed realistic to find a staff position at a university instead of teaching, because as a mother of two children I wasn't sure that I could totally give of myself 100% as a teacher who needed time to grade papers and prepare lessons.

But now here I am, looking for a job because my current job is coming to an end. And the more I think about it, I want to teach again. I want to be back in the classroom, inspiring students and helping them become better communicators. I want that with all my heart and soul.

If I cannot find a job in communication, then I am also open to the possibility of teaching English. Although that idea means I would need to go back to school and get certified to teach and learn how to properly teach English to non-native English speakers. And that involves changing the lives of my children to accomodate my school schedule and that seems somewhat selfish right now, at least while they are young. And, I would still have to work part-time to have the finances to pay for school. I don't know how that is all going to work out, but it is a dream I have. If not now, later.

Finding English teaching jobs here in the Netherlands is easy. It just means going back to school for a few years. And like most opportunities in my life at this moment, the answer remains "Not now." Motherhood trumps every time.

I have it made at the moment with my current job. I work from 9:30 am until 3:00 pm, which allows me to take the children to school and pick them up. It's great. It's just finding another job that gives me that much flexibility is going to be very tight. Working for a university is awesome. I get eight weeks of vacation, flexible hours and a 13th month salary. Despite my numerous attempts, I'm continually rejected for campus jobs because of the HUGE competition in the current job market. There is always someone with just a "little" bit more. Damn you, perfect candidate!

I know I want to teach again, and I know I want to work at a university. I know the PERFECT job for me, there just aren't any vacancies at the moment. I would *love* to work in the language center at the university teaching presentation skills to non-native English speakers. Perfect for me. Yet even if there were a vacancy, there's still no guarantee I would get the job.

I keep applying for jobs. I keep hoping. I keep trying to keep my chin up despite the long agonizing wait (nearly one year).