Nuts in Nederland

I've always known that during the past year while I've looked for another job, God was trying to teach me something.  I've never worried I couldn't find new employment.  I just wasn't sure yet where I was going to work and when that was going to happen.  The waiting part has been the most difficult. 

I've applied to be an English lecturer at a local college (which I really wanted, but lacked the experience).  I've applied for various communication and public relations jobs that would require lots of text writing in Dutch (which was always my shortcoming).  I've investigated going back to school to get certified to teach English (but the reality of trying to go to school part-time, work part-time AND take care of my family made me realize that it isn't a good idea right now).  I've considered online positions where I could work from home, however, I need the day-to-day interaction with LIVE people.  Too much time alone is NOT a good thing for me.  I lost count after the 20th job application.  And out of all those attempts, I was only invited for an interview three times.  While I did well at each interview, when I walked away I knew deep down that that job was not THE job for me.  There was always something wrong:  Too many hours, too difficult, or I was under-qualified. 

I've relied on the fact that I am a native English speaker and that perhaps it was best to find a job where this was an asset.  However, almost all international jobs are within the Rotterdam/Amsterdam area (a commute I am NOT willing to make).  And almost any job I've found that I felt confident I could do, it was full-time (something I DON'T want to do).  Given my restrictions, the choice of jobs for me becomes smaller and smaller.  And to be honest, I just want to work at Tilburg University.  I love working at a university.  It's the ONLY place I want to work.

Last week I was angry at God.  I shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TEACH ME?"  The interview that I had last week was NOT what I had in mind of my "dream job".  Yet, now that I consider how every idea of what *I* thought was the ideal job for me, God has been saying to me, "Wrong direction."

I see now that in order for me to fully GROW and develop into the person God wants me to become, I MUST improve my Dutch.  The safety net of working in English is gone.  My previous job was a great start for my first job in the Netherlands (after a five-year-hiatus of being a stay-at-home-mother).  But now God is saying to me:  TIME TO GROW.  Like my mother always tells me:  "Grow where you are planted."

I will find out tomorrow if I was selected for the position at the Student Service Desk in the Faculty of Economics & Management at Tilburg University.  I feel confident I gave a rock-solid interview performance today.  I did my best.  Now the rest is up to God.  If this is where He sees I have the most potential to grow, then it will all work out.  And if not, then another door will open in time.