Nuts in Nederland

Last week was the week of all weeks. After crashing my car into another car on the icy roads, I was forced to buy another second-hand car and count my old car as a total loss.

The new car, The Blue Bean, has been a less than desirable traveling companion. Two times last week it didn't start and one time I had to push the car home (1 block). On top of unreliable transportation, my "to do" list was quite full and I was running out of paper to put everything on that list!

If it weren't for the fact that I take my daily sanity pill, I am sure last week would have sent me into a panic attack. There were moments last week that my head was so full, the amount of things I had to do was so overwhelming, that I was sure if I would have felt an enormous amount of anxiety had it not been for Zoloft. Thankfully I am able to rationally think things out, do what I can and remember that tomorrow is another day.

I spent some time by myself last Friday running errands (kid free) and that gave me a sense of accomplishment and peace. I took the day off and caught up on life. I totally needed that day. Without it I don't think I could have been prepared for the weekend.

We celebrated Ana's birthday this past Saturday. I messed up her online order for her birthday cake and to make up for it I made her the dream cake she had originally wanted. Friday night I managed to overcook the cake and ended up having to get up early Saturday morning and start over. I spent four hours that morning decorating the cake while the kids ran around the kitchen trying to "help" me. Although that "help" only sent me over the edge. I finally had my "freak out" moment that was coming and told everyone to just leave me alone with the cake. Step. away. from. the cake. and. no. one. will. get. hurt.

I survived the birthday party (with the mother-in-law) and finally stopped caring anymore what critique I was going to hear *this* time from her. I've stopped reading her e-mails, have a automatic response that tells her that I do not accept this form of communication with her anymore. I'm taking control of my life and blocking out the negative. I just don't NEED it. Nothing good comes from reading her critical e-mails. Nothing.

I wasn't in a good place last week. My mind was on overload and I had too much going on. But I survived. Somehow.

This week seems to be going better. The garage fixed my car and now I can confidently get into it without worrying if I am going to get down the street. And next week I have a week vacation! YES.

As I type this one of my kids is crying and whining about how terrible I am to not let him watch TV. Gee, kid...if that's the worst of your problems....you need to get a grip!

Life is full of problems. Deal with it.