Nuts in Nederland

It's the eve of my 40th birthday and I'm embracing this moment.  Although this year has been one of uncertainty, I am accepting this new phase of my life as an unemployed mother of two who wants the very best for her children.  Tomorrow I turn forty and tomorrow my dream job ends.  It's the end of something I loved, but I am welcoming the time to spend with my two beautiful children.

I have often wondered why it has taken so long (over a year) to find a new job.  What is God trying to tell me?  Where is He leading me?  Every possibility ends up a dead end.  Every door closes.  And every dream gets short-lived.

I continue to keep my faith knowing that God has a purpose and a reason for all of this.  I may not understand it all, but I don't fear the future.  My faith gives me hope.  It gives me peace.

Last night I played Uno with my daughter, her friend who was spending the night and my son.  We were in the attic in the guest room with all three kids in their pj's playing until 10 pm.  It's vacation now and bedtimes don't matter in our house.  Fun takes priority.  We laughed and we enjoyed every moment of every victory as each of us won.  During those moments, I reflected on how happy it makes me to see my kids laugh and play.

Today we baked cupcakes (for the millionth time), but this time they were cupcakes to take to the zoo tomorrow when we celebrate my birthday.  The kitchen was mess, but I didn't care.  My kitchen is well used and over the years I have enjoyed many baking moments with my children.

Monday the children go back to school after a two week vacation that we shared.  I won't be driving to Tilburg to work for the first time in three years, but I don't mind.  I am excited to go back to being a "stay-at-home-mother", even if it is temporary.  I believe God has given me this time as a gift.  And I am saying THANK YOU for a lovely 40th birthday present by embracing it!